Wednesday, May 28, 2014
When you have chronic illness we build walls of protection for the sake of our fragile bodies. But it's until we push beyond those self built walls that we realize we are not flightless. Our soul and spirit can permeate any walls. It's up to us to let ourselves free. We don't feel truly alive until we jump the protective walls we have built and push ourselves to the breaking point. Sometimes we have to risk being shattered to be made whole again. To become closer to our true selves. We can't grow until we are willing to be challenged. We won't feel alive and leave the zombie existence behind until we step outside our comfort zone. I felt like a Lymie Zombie for far too long. I am just now starting to live again. I have told myself too many times I am not sure my health can handle this or that. Yes there is a time to pull back, regroup and rest. But I am learning maturity knows when to rest and where to push beyond. I can't sit here and rest forever watching life pass me by. I am ready to be apart of the land of the living. If that means more traveling adventures, activism, or taking classes I have no idea. But it's freeing to see the possibilities before you. And simply being open to them. Instead of saying all the time I'm too sick to do that. Am I really too sick or too scared? I feel like I am flirting with a chance for a more normal existence. To grow from life's possibilities. Instead of feeling limited by them. Recovering from Lyme Disease is a long term, life long journey with it's daily ups and downs.