Showing posts from May, 2011

Song Stick Figure

Stick Figure

My soul is battered,
Holding on to strings
of a shredded purse now.

My soul is weathered
Holding on to pieces
of the clouds now.

My soul is tattered,
Holding on to memories
of my life now.

My soul is shattered,
Holding on to tears
of my heart now.

Where’s my reward at the end of the day?

Where’s my rainbow for all the debt I’ve paid?

Where’s my apology for all my disrupted ways?

The emptiness is creeping in,
The emptiness is creeping in,
The emptiness is creeping in,

I’m a stick figure with no inspiration,
I’m a dark shadow in a powder room,
I’m a contradiction in your logic.

The emptiness is creeping in,
The emptiness is creeping in,
The emptiness is creeping in.

Back then versus Now

At this point in my life I never thought I would start to feel so comfortable with myself. I have been a wall flower long enough I guess. I am starting to get the hang of networking with friends, homeschoolers, Lyme survivors, other bloggers, photographers, etc. I have been talking and meeting with some very cool people. I used to be so insecure and waiting for someone to reject me. Now I go for it and if someone thinks I am weird so be it. Life is way to darn short for me to wait around any more hoping someone wants to connect. I am looking for the connections this time. And it feels pretty good too! I am also writing songs now which I never thought I would be doing. I already write poetry but songs, me?? I have even come up with some melodies that go along with the lyrics. Is this me? I never thought this would be me. The lady who worries she just gonna mess it all up. The perfectionist, worry wort, wall flower, nervous nelly that has been me for way too long. I reme…

It blows my mind....

It really does blow my mind how much one persons body can go through yet the human spirit lives on despite it all. I marvel at our ability to live everyday, to find the good pieces and hold them tightly. People have told me I am strong. I rarely ever feel strong. I guess weakness is the new strong after all. I think its more like vulnerability that is seen as strength. And it is! I am amazed at how our society watches people suffer to see what they will do. Its human nature I think. I think we all wonder the special ingredients it takes to overcome insurmountable odds. So what are they? When I have that figured out I plan to let everyone know! I am still learning what that is for me in this life with my own set of circumstances and state of health day to day. If I have learned anything after three years of treatment is simply this to never loose heart, be truthful with the pain you are going through the right person will listen eventually, and don't loose your humor. …

The loss I feel

The loss I feel everyday,
chips away at my faith,
my hope,
my wear with all.

The loss I feel everyday,
reminds me to fight,
hold on,
and don't let go.

The loss I feel everyday,
can control my heart and soul,
crushing me,
silencing any spark of happiness in me.

The loss I feel everyday,
makes me stronger,
to fight for my friends,
and protect those I love.

The loss I feel everyday,
rips me to the core,
steals my dreams,
and gives me nothing but heartache.

The loss I feel everyday,
makes me a better advocate,
and wife.
Because it reminds me, my life is a fight, worth winning.