Showing posts from November, 2010

Ups and Downs of Life

I tried to come off my antibiotics and I managed to go for about 5 days until the co-infections started to really ramp up again. My system is still so up and down. This sea-saw life is really starting to get to me. I really wish I could take a vacation from it but unfortunately it follows me. I do great for about two weeks, yeay! Then crash, crash, crash, all over again, the sweats, runs, nausea, feeling like my hands and feet will burn right off my body...etc. Not to mention the feeling of anger, isolation, fear, anxiety, depression, and pure madness. I'm surprised no one has checked me in to the psych ward. I just don't understand it anymore. This messy thing called Lyme Disease. I understand that in this life I may not know the "reason" for all this suffering. I understand it on an intellectual level and the rest of me is just ticked off. I do want answers! I keep coming back to the same conclusion and the same stinking question, I don't know but I want …

Hello World

My computer is finally fixed thank goodness. I was starting to go crazy not being able to work on certain sites and my photography. I am surprised looking back at all of my photos from the past two years how much I have grown as a photographer. Its the one area I actually have some confidence in. I came off my antibiotics and of course other Lyme symptoms are now acting up. The knee pain, fatigue at night especially around 6pm, my skin is getting better though, and my stomach and vomiting is over with. I just think 9 full months of this abx was enough. Not sure what I will be taking in the future. I just want some sort of balance. If the other symptoms get worse I will need to go back on some sort of abx but I'd rather not if I can avoid it. I just hate the burning hands and feet. It feels like I touched a hot stove and you can't get away from the feeling. I have been sweating through shirts and super emotional too. I can't wait for some of that to go away. Ri…

Black and Blue

The day has torn my flesh away,
my body rots to the bone,
my heart is ripped,
I am black and blue.

My eyes are plucked from my head,
my mind is alleviated of memory,
my soul is ravaged,
I am black and blue.

You keep asking me if what I am going through is real,
Live my proof,
I am black and blue.

You keep starring, as if I am faking this pain,
Walk in my shoes,
I am black and blue.

In all sincerity, I don't give a s--t what you say, my bruises tell the story,
I am black and blue.

Still working on this song. Its graphic and so is Lyme Disease. Any feedback would be great.