Over Come Lyme

I think we all get to this concentrated and clogged point where we stop talking and go inward.  We escape to the inner self to heal.  We run within hoping we can get skip the storm of pain and emptiness.   We try to decorate our inner homes with positive memories we hold to, holding them close reminding ourselves good things still happen on the outside just not right now and we hold on some more.  We extend hope a few more lengths.  The problem becomes when we live in our inner homes to the point we never come out.  Where we don't trust outsiders with white coats, or friends who say they care.  It's becomes our only world.  Our only internal existence.  there are many days of pain, depression and anxiety that I endured on a couch or laying on a bed exscaping to my inner world replaying old memories, thoughts, good and bad, replaying songs or old movies.  It was bits and pieces jumbled up together.  I know this may not make sense to some but I can get lost in my mind for hours …

Some days it's like I forget that I'm sick and I push and pull to do all the things I feel I should.  It's not until the pressure to move is gone and I'm home that I realize how much is on my shoulders daily and how much I have to bear up under.  I never thought I would be in a way working part time.  Non-profit doesn't mean less work.  It's passion that drives you and peoples stories that remind you why you do the work.  I just wish my son now 10 could see why I'm on the phone or making graphics.  He's so wrapped in how much he can't stand school work.  We are a homeschooly, second shift, up late kinda family.  We dance outside the box.  He cracks me up.  Little does he realize that learning is a lifelong process it doesn't keep regular hours.  It's a daily, everyday kinda thing.  His smarts and passion make me smile.  He comments and ask me now how my Lyme friends are doing.  Until he's out playing and running around and I have a few …