Posts

Showing posts from January, 2012

connection

Image
I needed your open arms,
I needed your open chest,
I needed your open heart,
I needed your open soul.

I wanted your attention,
I wanted your affection,
I wanted your protection,
I wanted your connection.

I sought after affairs with love,
I fell in love with love,
I left love because it felt so empty.
If only my needs and wants were met to begin with.

The problem is I need connection,
To feel protection,
to accept affection,
to receive attention.

The problem is your soul was closed,
your heart guarded,
your chest protected,
your arms crossed.

"Little Bit Stronger"

Image
I had company over last night and my friend new I had Lyme Disease really bad in the past. I showed her one of my video's on youtube where I was twitching severely. It was just one year ago that I could barely get around, fatigue, severe body and vocal twitches, bad pain, insomnia, etc. I could go on. I took a minute after seeing that video again and realized how far I have come. But also how all those years of treatment have changed the very core of who I am. I will never be the same person I was four years ago when I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease. My view on life has changed so dramatically. I have stopped pushing people away who offer help instead I try to balance when I need help and when I need to push myself to do it on my own. I am trying to make positive friendships and slowly nurture them instead of being clingy. I no longer ask why me, instead I take the day I am given and make it work to the best of my ability and slowly go forward. I see my needs and ackno…

2012

Image
I am turning 34 this year and I have come a long way baby. My Lyme Disease is somewhat under control and my celiac diet has helped me to gain healthy weight. I have started to work out again just walking for now. My son is gonna be 7 this summer and I am enjoying teaching some basic arts and craft classes at our Homeschool Co-op where my son attends some classes one day a week. My view of who I am and where I am going I feel is under going another revolution. I have always wanted to become a counselor after having one more child. My only set back right now is my heart racing off and on for no reason. I keep tabs on my B12 and Magnesium. I hope its not any signs of co-infections still hanging around my system. Lyme Disease is so strange. You can get to a great stretch of decent health then something happens. And you are reminded of the bugs that can still come out to play if you are not careful. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. A blood test that comes back p…