Showing posts from January, 2012


I needed your open arms,
I needed your open chest,
I needed your open heart,
I needed your open soul.

I wanted your attention,
I wanted your affection,
I wanted your protection,
I wanted your connection.

I sought after affairs with love,
I fell in love with love,
I left love because it felt so empty.
If only my needs and wants were met to begin with.

The problem is I need connection,
To feel protection,
to accept affection,
to receive attention.

The problem is your soul was closed,
your heart guarded,
your chest protected,
your arms crossed.

"Little Bit Stronger"

I had company over last night and my friend new I had Lyme Disease really bad in the past. I showed her one of my video's on youtube where I was twitching severely. It was just one year ago that I could barely get around, fatigue, severe body and vocal twitches, bad pain, insomnia, etc. I could go on. I took a minute after seeing that video again and realized how far I have come. But also how all those years of treatment have changed the very core of who I am. I will never be the same person I was four years ago when I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease. My view on life has changed so dramatically. I have stopped pushing people away who offer help instead I try to balance when I need help and when I need to push myself to do it on my own. I am trying to make positive friendships and slowly nurture them instead of being clingy. I no longer ask why me, instead I take the day I am given and make it work to the best of my ability and slowly go forward. I see my needs and ackno…


I am turning 34 this year and I have come a long way baby. My Lyme Disease is somewhat under control and my celiac diet has helped me to gain healthy weight. I have started to work out again just walking for now. My son is gonna be 7 this summer and I am enjoying teaching some basic arts and craft classes at our Homeschool Co-op where my son attends some classes one day a week. My view of who I am and where I am going I feel is under going another revolution. I have always wanted to become a counselor after having one more child. My only set back right now is my heart racing off and on for no reason. I keep tabs on my B12 and Magnesium. I hope its not any signs of co-infections still hanging around my system. Lyme Disease is so strange. You can get to a great stretch of decent health then something happens. And you are reminded of the bugs that can still come out to play if you are not careful. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. A blood test that comes back p…