I am turning 34 this year and I have come a long way baby. My Lyme Disease is somewhat under control and my celiac diet has helped me to gain healthy weight. I have started to work out again just walking for now. My son is gonna be 7 this summer and I am enjoying teaching some basic arts and craft classes at our Homeschool Co-op where my son attends some classes one day a week. My view of who I am and where I am going I feel is under going another revolution. I have always wanted to become a counselor after having one more child. My only set back right now is my heart racing off and on for no reason. I keep tabs on my B12 and Magnesium. I hope its not any signs of co-infections still hanging around my system. Lyme Disease is so strange. You can get to a great stretch of decent health then something happens. And you are reminded of the bugs that can still come out to play if you are not careful. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. A blood test that comes back positive for Lyme Disease or co-infections. Or an accident like breaking a bone that puts my body back in the same place I was before. Then I realized this is what most people feel that have chronic illness. The high and lows of our day to day existence. It has taught me that never to put all my hopes in the unattainable perfect health. But to focus on each day and do my best to take care of myself. As a mom I've had to put myself in my own schedule and realize if I don't take care of my own needs in the end my health will only get worse. I've had to put in down days in our schedule as a homeschool family. Also my personality needs some refuel time or I get grouchy anyways. I wasn't built to go at lightening speed. I am trying to listen to my own pace and realize my own limits. I wish I had the ability to go full out but maybe its better to stop and smell the roses once in a while anyways. It is nice now to have the ability now to push it at times and do lots of stuff. But at some point I have to slow it down and refuel again. Its just me and this is who I am. If someone doesn't understand that they can get over it! :) I am becoming more comfortable in my own skin. And I am realizing more and more what my needs are and what I deserve to have in my life. To be seen and heard, to be valued, to be treated with kindness. I like my thirties! I've been exploring going vegan and juicing. Finding things that help reduce my stress like walking and photography. I wonder what this year has in store for me. I hope there are some fun and amazing moments ahead.
You sound like you're in a pretty healthy place, both emotionally and physically. It is a very difficult journey, indeed. Thanks for sharing it so openly. I wish you continued healing.ReplyDelete
thank you so much for the kind words. It is a long journey at least I have wonderful people to walk along beside me :)ReplyDelete