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Showing posts from October, 2017

Gold

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How do you see yourself as complete, whole, worthy, if your body is always broken.  I read a quote recently that asked a simple but important question, "Who hurt you so badly that you started hating yourself?"  My mind kept churning those words over and over.  And I had a simple answer.  I've been physically sick since I was very young from allergies, to stomach pains, to high anxiety with depression, nerve pain in my legs, sinus headaches, migraines, high fevers, constant strep, ear infections, and foot pain.  Of course I hate myself, this body is a torture chamber.  Why would I like this?  I am recovering but to strip away the modes I've been in to survive for over 30 years will not happen in a day.  I have to give my younger self a voice.  I have to be kind and have patience.  Most of my self portraits are distorted figures, bent in odd directions, scarred, fractured and dark.  If the lens we see ourselves through is flawed for so long, its going to take as much t…