Hold Fast

Hold Fast

Stop telling me to hold on, 
I've been doing it for days, 
months, years, lifetimes

Stop saying it will be okay,
It's not okay, 
Pain, misery, agony 
are never Okay

Stop telling me to look for my lesson,
No lesson should be so harsh,
My body is abusing me
And I am done with it

Stop listening to me,
Only to reply,
I am not up for fixing, 
guilting, constraining, 
My body has already tried to put duct tape over my mouth.

Stop staring at me, 
My pain is visible today
My body made that choice not me,
You do not see the full picture of my internal torture,
Think iceburgs:  only a small portion is visible while the rest lays under the surface.
And if you were pain would you take a shower, get dressed, put on makeup or fix you're hair? 

Hear Me,
See Me,
Touch Me, 
with you're humanity, with care, with truth and humility. 
Learn me, notice me, hold me
My body is my prison.
And today I'm not okay. 
How I get through my pain is my choice.
I already know tomorrow maybe better. 
I already know Hold Fast, Hold On, It will get better, 
But right now it's not.  I choose to give the pain a voice.  So my voice can get stronger.  

My body maybe broken, I may feel absorbed and over taken by pain but believe me I am it's master.  How I process through my bad days is my choice not yours.  

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