The Letting Go


Fallen life all around me,
Not a sound in sight.
devastation, loss, collapse.
Suffering in the wide open,
vast, overwhelming, silence.
Loss for words,
tears coming,
lips trembling,
hands shaking.
Empty screams,
lethargy,
doubt.
Denial.
Hoping the present is just a nightmare.
Until one day the answer is "Lyme".
Recognition, believing, seeing,
Validation to self.
This is really happening.
Then I say to self, "Let it Go."
The letting go is harder,
Than the holding on.
Acceptance is more painful
Than moving forward.
This is really happening.
Anyone can move,
Not everyone can swallow the bitter pill of pain and suffering
And keep moving forward no matter the outcome.
So I guess that makes all of us,
Miracles


I see my journey with Lyme as a constant battle that one day I might win and the next day its defeat. Some days I feel sorry for myself, get angry that I drop things and make messes, and some days I actually feel somewhat normal. I think the "letting go" is the realization that this isn't easy but its a one day at a time type of situation. Also its the recognition that there is a choice between becoming jaded and being matured by the situation. I think maturity comes from the patiently holding on and learning something from the experience that changes your whole out look on life in general. I think this is the hardest of all lessons to learn. Some sufferings have to be walked through and can't be avoided.

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